What's Goin On?
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: 11 people, 1 portrait, 1 rumor, and 1 flabbergasted Snape. It’s amazing results of one conversation.


Disclaimer: The HP series doesn't belong to me.

A/N: Hi... This fanfic is dedicated to Miss Mary Sue...

* * *

"Did you see Malfoy staring at you in class?" Ron exclaimed, red-faced. Hermione laughed at the expression on his face, which was torn between shock and anger. Harry rolled his eyes, but joined in the snickering.

"Banish the green monster away Ron. We all know he wasn't staring," Hermione commented as she struggled to juggle the countless books in her hands and walk without tripping. Ron sputtered in response, the tips of his ears burning red.'

"She's right Mr. Weasley," Harry said serenely, mimicking Dumbledore, "The only reason you noticed that is because of extreme lust for this hot brunette that is walking in front of you, swaying those smexy hips as she puts one foot in front of the other." So much for sounding like Dumbledore.

Ron flushed, his face coloring like a peach in the sun. "I don't like her anymore!" he stumbled out in response, his fingers fumbling with the clasp of his robes.

Hermione snickered. "I'm right here you know."

"Yeah, I know! I still see your smexy ass," Harry joked. Hermione made a point to shake her hips exaggeratedly as she walked; then, she turned around and gave Ron and Harry a saucy wink which sent the latter into gales of laughter.

Ron finally joined in the joke, "You shouldn't flirt with her like that. Malfoy would send you flying off the astronomy tower."

"Nah, watch. Malfoy and I will have a showdown up there for this fair maiden's heart. We'll stare each other down and the music will play."

"Dun-dun-na-na na-nuh-na. Dun-dun-na-na na-nuhhh," Hermione added in.

"And I'll pull out my wand and so will Malfoy, spinning them in our hands. And I'll step forward and then Malfoy will and then I will and so on."

"Don't forget the tumbleweed!" Hermione added.

Ron just furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before passing his friends off as weirdos.

--

Susan Bones gasped as Harry talked about dueling Malfoy. Her teeth grazed over her lips as she pressed back into the wall, trying not to be seen by the golden trio. Malfoy and Harry where going to fight over Hermione.

She didn't know which fact shocked her more: that Malfoy liked Hermione or that Harry liked her. They were going to be fighting down up in the astronomy tower. And it was her duty as a prefect and as a noble student of Hogwarts to stop it.

She turned and ran down the hallway, her eyes searching for someone to tell. Hermione, even as Head Girl acknowledged the duel and yet left it unsaid. Some Head Girl that Dumbledore picked. With a sigh, she wracked her mind for someone. Not the Head Boy, for he was one of the duelers.

Then, the thought struck her. With a happy grin set upon her face, she set out to right the world and overturn fighting and arguing.

--

"Sir Cadogan!" Susan cried as she neared the portrait. The knight was one of the most helpful portraits in the castle and the most noble. He'd know what to do.

"Oh, I spy a fair maiden approaching my humble abode. What brings you here m'lady?" Sir Cadogan asked with a bow on his part. Susan giggled.

"I figured out where your horse went. It took me a while to find him, but he was on the fourth floor, in the landscape of the meadow," Susuan offered with a smile.

Sir Cadogan returned her smile with one of his own. "I have great thanks to you m'lady. It should have taken days for me to find him. I'm deeply sorry for any inconveniences in locating him."

"No problem. I'm glad to help. It's not that much of a bother. I just kept an eye out while doing prefect rounds."

"Still, the thanks are extended to you," Sir Cadogan declared in his loud boisterous voice. "Is somehtign wrong m'lady?"

"No, but I have a request," Susan said quietly.

"Anything for you." Once again, the knight bent down in a deep bow that had the teen in front of him blushing.

"I was wondering if you had noticed anything unusual with Malfoy, Harry, and Hermione," Susan started, making sure that she didn't let anything out. She didn't dare spread an untrue rumor, noting that it could have just been something she misheard.

"No, nothing out of the usual," Sir Cadogan said, leaning forward, eager for information. "Is something the matter?"

Susan blushed at the concerned look that adorned the knight's face and for a second, she caught herself wishing it was for her and that he would be her knight in shining armor, whisking her away from the cruel world. She shook her head sadly and bit her lip, wondering if it was possible to fall in love with a portrait- a sincere, honest, bold, chivalrous knight who actually cared for her unlike the snobby mean guys who littered the halls of the world.

With a sigh, she looked up into those sincere eyes. "Nothing… I just heard something."

"There are many somethings in the world, m'dear." Susan's cheeks darkened at the change from m'lady to m'dear.

"I..uhh. I heard that Malfoy and Harry are fighting over Hermione…litterally. Harry was saying something about a showdown," Susan admitted softly.

"Oh dear, a love triangle between Harry, Hermione, and Malfoy? Let it play out m'lady. It'll all be for the best." Susan sighed at the switch backk to m'lady. With a nod in his direction, she left, walking down the long hallway with her heart aching all the way.

Sir Cadogan watched her leave with a small smile playing across his lips.

--

A smile set across someone else's lips as he sulked down the corridor, keeping one thought on the top of his mind. Sir Cadogan was sure useful sometimes with his loud voice. The information had just floated right to him as he passed.

Granger, Potter, and Malfoy had a love triangle going on. A smoky, hot love triangle. And smoky, hot love triangles always led to one thing- smoky, hot threesomes.

He puffed out his chest in pride as he walked, his black cloak lapping at his heels. He was over Hermione by now, though he could just see her in his mind's eye. Yeah- any threesome with her in it would be very very smoky and hot.

"What's up Cormac." The voice startled the teen out of his thoughts and he looked up.

A grin spread across Cormac's lips as he looked up at Michael Corner. "Corner," Cormac acknowledged coolly with a nod of his head.

Michael rolled his eyes and came up next to the other teen. "So whatcha doin?" he asked, swinging an arm around Cormac's shoulders.

Cormac sneered and pushed his arm off. "What do you think I'm doing?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh relax. You're too uptight. So what's up?"

"Your face," Cormac replied impassively.

"Your mom," Michael retorted without hesitation.

"Touché."

"I know." A grin spread on Michael's face. "So, you gonna tell me what's got you all hot and horny?" Michael asked. Cormac's eye's opened wide and he looked up at the Ravenclaw. "You gotta cover up better," Michael said, answering the unasked question and motioning to the front of Cormac's robes.

Cormac hurried to adjust his robes, a faint blush rising to his cheeks.

"Aww come on dude. You got a freeking boner in the halls. What's up?"

"Malfoy, Potter and Granger are in a threesome- well…they are a threesome."

"That's sick dude," Michael said in response, a grin threatening to split his face in half. "And the good kind of sick."

Cormac rolled his eyes but grinned in response nonetheless.

--

Michael walked into the Great Hall, heading straight to the Gryffindor table and pulling up Collin Creevey without word and dragging him outside. Collin went along silently, a look of puzzlement settled on his face all the while as the grip on his arm pulled him down the corridors and into an empty classroom.

"Michael, as much as I am flattered, I'm not gay," Collin joked in an effort to break the silence, "I won't kiss you no matter how much you beg."

"I would never beg in front of you. You're not hot enough for me," Michael joked back just as jovially.

"But Harry thought I was hot when he pushed me against a wall and snogged the living daylights out of me," Collin replied with a pout gracing his pink lips.

Michael raised an eyebrow. "You want to verify that under Vertiserum?"

"Aww, I didn't know that you cared," Collin cooed with a mock doe eyed expression on his face.

"Speaking of Potter, this is about him."

Collin perked up immediately, setting his gaze on the older teen. Michael could swear that the Gryffindor's ears twitched when he said Harry's name. Freaking Harry Potter senses. "I need you to take some pics for me."

"You want pictures? Of Harry?" Collin asked in puzzlement.

"Yeah. Of him, Granger, and Malfoy. I need anything you can find."

"Why?"

"For the yearbook. Couple of the year. They're shacking up together," Michael replied easily- though truthfully, that didn't really answer the question.

Collin stared off into space for a second, his tongue running over his upper teeth as he thought. Then, he looked up. "I'll do it."

"Good, now go eat."

Collin was shooed off.

--

"Mr. Creevey, what are you doing down here at this time?" The voice sent chills up Collin's spine as he turned around stonily, his camera clutched between both of his hands. His frightened eyes ran over the intimidating form of Filch towering over him/

"Uhh…I well, you see…Ummm-" Collin stuttered out softly through trembling lips. Filch raised an eyebrow.

"As fluent as ever, I see," Filch commented snidely through the sneer on his face. Collin bit his lips and looked down. "Let me see the camera." Collin shook his head. "Give it." The demand made Collin shiver involuntarily, but he stood his ground, clutching his camera in his shaking hands. "NOW." Filch grabbed the camera out of the boy's hands and looked through the pictures on it.

"Potter. Potter. Potter. Potter and Granger. Potter, Granger, Weasley. Malfoy. Malfoy. Malfoy and Granger. Malfoy and Granger. Granger… What is this?" Filch asked coldly, his mind a jumble.

"I was taking pictures for the yearbook," Collin replied softly.

"And the yearbook is suddenly all pictures of Potter, Granger, Weasley, and. Malfoy?" Filch retorted.

"They're together. Hermione, Harry, and Malfoy. And they're gonna be the Hogwarts couple… And so I was supposed to take pictures of them…for it." Collin said, stuttering as Ms. Norris swept by his ankles.

Filch raised an eyebrow once again. But picked up his cat and turned around to leave, only to look back over his shoulder and say, "Detention with your head of house. Friday night after dinner."

Collin just nodded as Filch swept away, his cat walking along right behind him all the while.

--

"Creevey has detention with you. Friday after dinner," Filch said as he brushed by McGonagall on his was to his office. McGonagall paused for a moment and then asked, "Which one?"

"Ehh. The one with the camera," Filch said offhandedly, handing the confiscated object into the Deputy Headmistress's hands. "Well, not anymore."

"I bet he has more," McGonagall replied, playing with the contraption in her hands.

"I suppose. He said something about taking pictures of Malfoy, Potter, and whatsherface…Granger. Something about couple of the year."

"Couple of the year?" McGonagall asked in shock. "The three of them?"

"Students are disgusting," Filch said before slinking off gloomily.

McGonagall stared after him in shock. Couple of the Year… Malfoy… Potter… and Grnager… Threesome of the year…

--

"Draco Malfoy is your godson, is he not?" McGonagall asked hesitantly, directing the question to Severus as they sat side by side in the staff room. The man in question looked up at her as she said this.

"Yes he is. Why do you ask?" Severus questioned suspiciously, closing his book on his forefinger.

McGonagall flushed and looked away, staring into the fire. "Nothing," she said a little hurridly.

Severus pursed his lips. "Minevra…"

"He's in the couple of the year," McGonagall replied slowly, trying to find the right words.

"Oh? I wasn't aware that he was involved with someone," Snape said with a furrow of his brow.

"He isn't involved with someone. He's involved with someones."

"Pardon?"

"The couple of the year is he, Harry, and Hermione."

"Potter and Granger…?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

With that, Snape put down his book and swept out of the room and down to the Slytherin dormitories.

--

Several of the first years cowered in fear. Snape practically flew into the common room, his eyes giving the place a long sweep with cold, steeled eyes. Those eyes immediately set on one person- a blond headed teen curled in front of the fire with a book in hand.

With a snarl on his lips, he grabbed his godson and lugged the protesting boy out of the room and into his office. Draco sat in the hard wooden chair regally with his back straight and his chin up as he looked into his teacher's eyes imploringly.

Snape broke off the silence. "I know about your relationship."

A flicker of panic rushed across Draco's face, only to be replaced with a mask of indifference right afterward. "Oh really?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Snape asked softly.

Draco sighed. "Isn't it obvious? You wouldn't accept her."

"I'm okay. It's more of him that I'm worried about," Snape commented, Potter's face flashing across his mind.

Draco nodded in understanding. "My father wouldn't accept anything."

"Your father? I was talking about Potter," Snape said, clarifying the misinterpretation.

"Scarhead? Where'd he come from?"

"I thought… Aren't you involved with him?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? Are you okay Uncle Sev?"

Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What is going on?" he asked. "Who exactly are you involved with.

"Hermione Granger."

"Only her?"

"Yeah…why?"

"It seems that everyone else in this school thinks that you, Potter, and Granger are a couple."

Draco wrinkled his nose. "Like a threesome?"

"Apparently."

"That sounds fun but unfortunately, it isn't true. Only Mione for me," Draco said with a smile. "But I'll keep that idea in mind. Maybe we could get Potter to join us," he joked with a chuckle.

For the first time in his life, Snape was left sputtering.

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A/N: Haha cute? Oh yeah:

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_**Alternate scene ending:**_

"Hey Hermione! Guess what the school thinks!"

"Hi Draco. I know about it. I heard."

"So…?"

"Harry thinks it's hot."

"Soo…?"

"So now, I guess we are a threesome…Good. I won't have to go look for tumbleweed."

"What?"

Hermione snickered.

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A/N 2: This was supposed to be dramione… but I hope the addition of Harry doesn't turn people off. That's why its an alternate ending…

Hehe, this was inspired by my friend Miss Mary Sue. And is thus dedicated to her. -cheesy grin- Let's just say that, at school, she dragged my ass to into a mess in which we were questioned by police, told to sign a witness document, missed two classes, and had a chart with arrows pointing to her name. You don't want to know… Not all rumors are as funny as this one… -snicker-

Review pleaaaaaaase! Spread the love. And maybe make me feel more comfortable about the fact that the I made it a threesome… At first, it was the original ending, but I felt all self conscious about it… SO I made it an alternate scene ending…

My stories will still be dramione…The threesome thing is only going to be mentioned this time only… I'm going straight back to dramione. –grin-

XOXO

Flame

PS: REEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIEWWWWWWWW PLEASE! (note that I didn't put a bunch of capital Rs...That's because I don't know how to roll my Rs. -pout-


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